Pregnancy Diaries - Early Pregnancy

So, what do you do when you find out you're pregnant?

I initially went for a private scan, I went to Ultrasound Diagnostics in Romford and I saw my little bean. They confirmed at that time I was 5weeks & 5 days, just a little too early to see the heartbeat but there it was. 

They were so supportive and they gave me some packs which included information and prenatal vitamins. 

I then needed to self refer to the hospital I wanted to have antenatal care, originally I'm from Manchester but work in London. It made all the sense to refer to the Trust I work at. 

I got an appointment for a months time in July which was the booking appointment. This was where they 'confirm' your pregnancy but they don't scan you, they just ask questions on your background, fathers background, immediate family and then let you know the timeline of your appointments and assign you to a midwifery team. 

My midwife was amazing and so lovely. 

Because of a few issues which were highlighted, I was referred to some additional teams for support. I declared my history with Mental Health and because of the rocky situation I was in with my ex. Always always let them know what support you need because I couldn't imagine pregnancy would be this hard. 

Family have been amazing and from the minute they knew, they have all stepped up and I couldn't be more grateful. I didn't wait until the typical 12/13 week goalpost before letting them know and I would advise anyone else, you need people around you. 

Pregnancy Diaries - Finding out I was pregnant.

 I found out I was pregnant on Friday the 20th June - this is actually engrained in my brain LOL.

I'd been a little bit paranoid waiting for my period this month and I told my girls I thought I was pregnant a few weeks back but they told me to stop being silly because I hadn't missed my period and I know at the time there was some paranoia because, being real, I wasn't being safe. 

Thinking back, I'd had a couple days leading up to where I felt sickly and bloated but none of these symptoms were screaming pregnancy to me. 

I ended up being really constipated - not something out of the norm but it just felt weird. 

I popped up to Savers and bought myself some laxatives and I walked past the pregnancy tests, I thought "Ahh lets just get 2 because its 98p and reverse psychology theory, if I take a test I know it'll be negative and my period will come". Delusional BUT girls, we've been there. You take a test and your period that's been playing hide and seek suddenly appears. 

Many times I've taken a Clearblue for no reason LOL. 

Just to show, I did not think for any reason two lines would pop up. 

I remember this was around the time of the heatwave too and I was speaking to my ex and he was just checking how I felt, I told him I was constipated and I going to drink more water too. If only we knew what was coming in 10 minutes. 

The rain began and it hasn't stopped since.  

Pregnancy Diaries

 I've restarted my blog so many times this year, I didn't quite know what I wanted to write. 

Firstly it was about finding myself, navigating life & being 30 and going through my 30's - in the most honest and raw way I could. 

I didn't know what life really was and I know this is something that isn't unique to me. 

Then .. In June, I found out I was pregnant and life changed, everything changed in 24 hours. 

I was far from prepared.

 

I didn't have the magical moment when I took the test where it was smiles and rainbows, I thought Fx#k!!!

I had a lot of fears but at the same time, I knew this is something I had prayed for, worked for and I've always wanted my own children and my own family. Growth and healing from past trauma's left me feeling secure in knowing I was having a baby now. 

I'm currently 19 weeks and 4 days pregnant, it feels like it's been FOREVERRRRR and it's come with so much change in such a short space of time. I need a space to process and what better way than getting my blog up and running again. I'm a MUVVVAAAA. 

So, what will pregnancy diaries be? It's what I didn't know, it's what I wish I knew and what I have come to know. Pregnancy has felt like a secret society so here is my experience. 

Return of the mack - 2025

 Welcome back! 

I decided to make a return to blogging because I have a lot to say, I wanted an outlet and I know my experiences aren't singular; we're all trying to figure out life. 

In the time I've been away I turned 30. I've been reflecting, healing and now more than ever I'm focused on myself, happiness and peace! 

I've had my battles with Mental Health - anxiety, depression & at times low self esteem and self confidence so it's imperative I put myself first and prioritise my own needs.

So here's to us all figuring out life, curating the life that we want! 

I'll share the tips that help me, encourage me and keep me on the right path. I hope they'll be of some use to you and you can also share yours. 

speak soon x